Frenemy

FRENEMY by Lori Soard

Why would someone on the outside want the window closed on the inside? Our cheerleading retreat had started two days ago when our coaches brought us down here. Twenty girls on the squad, most of us new; three moms who were coaches (including my own) and a friend who had lent us her house for the retreat. We were a small squad, small school, small community, and a family. Life couldn’t be better, or so I thought.

Until… the window incident. I truly believe the window was what started it all, but I’m still trying to wrap my brain around the strange circumstances of the last year and a half. Still trying to understand how something that was once so right could go so wrong. Stupid window!

To be continued…

“Leave that window open,” my mom fanned her flushed face, “it’s hot in here.”

“No, we want it closed,” shouted Joy from outside.

Joy was the other mom/coach in our group. She was a lot of fun, high-spirited and basically almost like one of the other teens in a lot of ways.

“You’re outside. Why do you care if the window is open or not?” asked my mom. She had a really confused look on her face and I could see her point. Why did people on the outside care if a window on the inside was open or not? It really made no sense.

“We’re talking about something.”

I was still naive at this point and didn’t think to wonder what they were talking about that they didn’t want anyone else to overhear. Or how strange it was that a thirty-something woman would sit outside with a group of teenage girls and gossip about people on the inside. No, I still was enthralled by Joy, like all the others. I hadn’t yet come to know the real Joy. What I saw was a facade.

School started the next week. For as long as I could remember it had been me and my two best friends, Brooke and Savannah. Our memories were filled with a mental scrapbook of sleepovers, silly moments and blowing things up in Brooke’s microwave until her mother caught us one summer day and told us the microwave was off limits — FOREVER! I couldn’t imagine that any friends could be closer than the three of us. We had been friends forever and would be friends forever. My mom called us the tripod, because we were like three legs all working toward the same goals.

“Kate!” Brooke ran up and threw her arms around me in a big bear hug. We’d just seen one another the day before, but she acted as though we hadn’t seen one another in months. Her enthusiasm and joy in living had started to rub off on me this last year. My mom said she’d brought me out of my shyness shell and I guess she was right.

“Let me see your schedule.” I handed her mine, hoping we had at least a couple of classes together.

“We have lunch together.” She squealed and jumped up and down, her pale blonde hair bouncing around her shoulders with each move. “Let me see your schedule, Savannah.”

Brooke snatched Savannah’s schedule out of her hands and glanced at it. “We have three classes together.”

Savannah always wore her blonde locks in a ponytail. Savannah was petite where I was tall. She was blonde where I was brunette. Her hair was straight. Mine was hopelessly curly; an eternal curse of frizziness and thick tresses. We were different, yet we were alike. We were opposite, yet we complimented one another perfectly.

“Want to come with me to Joy’s after school?” Savannah asked us. “I start babysitting with her today.”

“Sure!” Brooke clapped her hands.

I looked away, feeling uncomfortable, but not sure how to explain my feeling of unease. “I guess I’ll come.”

I had worked with Joy all summer. She ran a daycare out of her home and had hired me to work with her. One thing I had learned this past summer was that just because your name was Joy didn’t mean you had any joy in your heart. In fact, Joy was about as opposite from her name as a person could be.

“Well, don’t put yourself out,” Savannah said, looking a little miffed.

“No, I’ll come. I’m sorry. I’m happy you have a job.” I was happy for her. She’d have her own money, which I knew was important to her. I just worried about her.

The warning bell rang. In a ritual that we’d been doing for years, we circled up and each put a hand in the middle of the circle.

“One…” said Brooke.

“Two…” I added.

“Three…” Savannah finished.

“Let’s go tripod. Let’s go!” we shouted together, lifted our hands, turned our backs to one another and blew a kiss over our shoulders.

We all laughed as we walked away. I was truly the luckiest person in the world. When I’d moved to the little town of Henryville in the fifth grade, I had worried that I’d never make friends like the ones I’d had when I lived in Greenfield, Indiana. Then, I’d met Brooke and Savannah and the purpose and reason behind our move seemed to be set. I had to move here. A tripod couldn’t stand with only two legs.

When the school bus pulled up in front of Joy’s little house with the tan siding and small picket fence, the three of us exited, laughing and happy to be together. I saw Joy watching us from her front living room picture window. Her expression was unsmiling. In fact, she had a frown on her face.

Great. I knew that look. Joy was mad at someone. There was no telling who. Maybe I’d have my mom come get me soon. Even though I wanted to spend time with my two best friends, I really didn’t want to hear any more gossip and negative talk from Joy. I’d had my fill this summer. On top of that, she was constantly yelling at her babysitting kids and especially at Collin, the cutest baby that ever lived. I admit that I had a real soft spot for Collin. He laughed and smiled, flashing dimples every time he saw me. He was also a baby, and I really only liked kids before they got old enough to start talking. After that, you could keep ‘em.

Joy opened the door. “Hey Brooke, I knew Savannah was coming, but you didn’t tell me that Kate was too.”

The words weren’t that rude, but her stare was icy. “Is it okay?” I asked. “I can have my mom come pick me up.”

“My door is always open to you kids.” She waved me inside.

The words sounded right, but they didn’t feel right. It was hard to explain the uneasy feeling I got when I was around Joy. However, I still thought she was overall a pretty good person. She said the right things. Did the right things. There was just something that seemed a bit off, but I swept it out of my mind, believing it was me and not her and that I was reading her incorrectly. One of these days I am going to learn to trust my instincts about people. If I’d only trusted them when it came to Joy.

“Did you see the look Miss Tabitha gave me at cheer practice yesterday?” Joy asked.

“No. What look?” Brooke flopped onto Joy’s soft couch, sinking into the cushions.

I thought about joining her, but feared I’d never get back up. Instead, I walked over to Collin and clapped my hands and held my arms out to him. He was trapped in his high chair yet again, where he seemed to perpetually live while at Joy’s house. He squealed, waved his chubby little arms and reached for me. I laughed, pulled off the tray, released him from the belt and swept him into my arms. He patted my face with dimpled fingers and gazed up at me with obvious love. I cuddled him close, realizing he probably hadn’t been given a hug all day. Joy really didn’t seem to care much for Collin and while she wasn’t outright cruel to him, she verged on it.

“Tabitha gave me a dirty look. I think she’s jealous of me or wants the squad to herself.”

“What kind of look?” I asked. I’d never seen Tabitha be mean to anyone. My mom seemed to like her and appreciated that the squad had a team of three coaches, because it would have been a lot of work for just one person.

“A dirty one,” Joy said and sort of shook her head like I was stupid.

Brooke and Savannah laughed. I didn’t.

“Why would she give you a dirty look?” I asked.

“I told you,” Joy spoke slowly and enunciated every word as though speaking to a small child, “she is jealous of me.”

What was Joy talking about? I just shrugged my shoulders and turned my attention back to Collin. Babies were great. They didn’t talk and they didn’t have ulterior motives other than to get food or attention.

“Why do you think she’s like that?” Savannah asked.

Savannah was a good friend and had always treated me well, but she wasn’t always aware of the motives of other people. She just thought the best of everyone and never saw their fault in anything. Personally, I didn’t think Joy should be talking to us about another coach of our cheer squad. It seemed immature. If she said the wrong thing, she could turn the cheerleaders against one of their coaches. I was smart enough to realize that she really shouldn’t be talking to us kids about something like this, but I wasn’t brave enough to say anything else.

“She’s just born ugly.” Joy laughed and Savannah and Brooke laughed with her. I didn’t join in.

Joy seemed to immediately notice my lack of conformity and stood and walked to me. She put her arm around my shoulders and whispered near my ear. “Have you noticed how Tabitha’s eyes look crossed when she gets mad? Watch the next time.”

But I didn’t want to watch. This was ridiculous and Savannah and Brooke were just going along with Joy and her obvious dislike of Tabitha. I smiled at her and waited a few moments, during which she went on and on about how ugly Miss Tabitha was. After a small amount of time, I slapped my forehead and gave a shout.

“What’s wrong?” Brooke asked.

“I completely forgot I have major homework,” I said. “I’m going to call my mom to come get me. I have to get home.”

I knew I had just told a lie. I didn’t have anything due the next day. I just couldn’t take anymore of Joy’s gossip. This was why I couldn’t work with her. I didn’t really understand how Savannah could stand it, but judging by the hero worship look she was giving Joy the gossip didn’t bother her a bit.

When my mom arrived, I waved goodbye quickly. “Thanks for having me over, Joy.”

“Anytime. My door is always open.” Her smile was a bit cool and her gaze glinted with something I didn’t quite recognize.

“How was school?” my mom asked.

“Good. I guess.” I wanted to tell her my misgivings about Joy, but she and Joy were friends and I wasn’t sure if she would just shrug it off.

“Uh-oh. That doesn’t sound so good. What’s wrong?” Mom had a way of knowing what I was thinking even when I didn’t. I hadn’t been able to get by with much over the years, mainly because she kept pretty close tabs on me and my sister. I liked to gripe and complain to her that she had OCD when it came to us, but I secretly appreciated the fact that she cared so much.

“I’m not sure,” I admitted. “Do you think it’s wrong for someone to talk about someone else behind their backs and not have anything specific. Like to just say ’so and so gave me a dirty look’?”

“Are some of your friends in a fight?” Mom signaled to change lanes and pointed to the local McDonald’s. “Want a soda and we can chat about this before we go home?”

“Sure.” I breathed a sigh of relief at knowing I could share my concerns with someone and not have to worry about it going any further.

After we’d ordered our pops and found a seat away from any prying ears, my mom gave my shin a gentle nudge with her foot. “So, what’s up?”

“Joy said Tabitha was giving her dirty looks,” I blurted.

My mom blinked a few times. “That doesn’t sound like Tabitha. Joy must have misunderstood.”

“But she was telling me, Savannah and Brooke about it. Sort of like we needed to be mad at Tabitha too. It made me really uncomfortable.” I couldn’t really explain the underlying sense that Joy wanted to turn us all against the other coach.

“I love Joy, Kate, but she isn’t perfect. She was wrong to put you girls in the middle of her disagreement with Tabitha. It obviously made you pretty uncomfortable.”

“Yeah,” I agreed.

“Do you want my advice?” Mom usually didn’t ask if I wanted her advice, but just gave it. But I did want it.

“Yes.”

“Forget what she said. It probably is a problem between the two of them and they’ll work it out. I do think Joy is a good person. She just made a mistake because she was angry.” My mom reached across the table and patted my tightly fisted hands. “And if Joy says anything else, just tell her it makes you uncomfortable because you love both Joy and Tabitha. Maybe it will make her realize what she’s doing.”

“Maybe.” I wasn’t so sure, but my mom seemed to know what she was talking about and her advice sounded solid. Hopefully Joy wouldn’t say anything else, though, because I really didn’t want the confrontation.

It didn’t take long for me to get a chance to tell Joy how I felt. The very next day at cheer practice, I noticed Joy, Savannah and Brooke giving Tabitha the cold shoulder. Tabitha was running us through the dance portion of our routine and none of us knew it well enough to perform at the upcoming game in two weeks.

“Girls!” Tabitha clapped her hands. “Please pay attention.”

Joy ran over to Savannah and Brooke and the three of them formed a tiny huddle. Tabitha put her hands on her hips and watched the isolated group in obvious exasperation. I shifted from foot to foot. It had always been me, Savannah and Brooke that were a trio. It was almost as though Joy had just inserted herself into my spot. I, however, never would have been that disrespectful to Tabitha.

“Excuse me?” Tabitha said softly. Her face had that pinched weary look, like people get just before they start to cry.

“Oh, it’s okay. I got it.” Joy waved her arm at Tabitha to go on with the practice.

“Ten minute break!” Tabitha called and walked briskly from the room.

That’s it! As I walked to where the three of them stood, I was so angry that my hands shook. “What’s going on?” I said.

Joy lifted her arm from Brooke’s back and motioned me into the circle.

“Did you see the way that Tabitha was treating Joy?” Brooke asked. Her eyes were larger than normal and her face had a deep rosy, almost red, glow. She shook her head from side to side.

“No. What happened?” I hadn’t seen anything. Did I miss something?

“It’s okay girls,” Joy said. “I’m not mad at Tabitha. She’s just aggravated because you guys like me better than her. I’m sure she feels like she’s doing all the work and yet you still love me more. She just doesn’t understand our friendship.”

“We do love you more, Joy. You’re more fun.” Savannah laid her head over on Joy’s shoulder.

I glanced nervously behind me. What must it look like for the four of us to be huddled up away from the rest of the squad while Tabitha was likely in the bathroom crying her eyes out? I took a small step back from the circle. Then another. Joy’s arm dropped from my shoulder. She frowned and looked at me in surprise.

I took a deep breath. My mom was right. I had to be honest. Maybe Joy would realize how inappropriate she was acting with the three of us. She might be likable and she might be fun, but she was not a fifteen-year-old girl. Nowhere near it. She was more than twice our age, in fact. And being more than twice our age, she should act a little more mature than a middle schooler.

“Joy, I love you and Tabitha both. This makes me uncomfortable.” There! I’d said it. Now she’d realize how crazy this fight was and patch things up with Tabitha. Things would get back to normal.

Joy’s eyes narrowed into thin slits and she pursed her lips out. Her body seemed to almost get bigger as she started to take in huge, deep breaths through her nose. “So, you don’t care how Tabitha is treating me? Well, maybe I should just quit coaching.”

What? How in the world had she taken what I’d just said and twisted it into something so unrelated? Savannah and Tabitha circled her, hugging her from both sides and muttering urgent reassurances.

“No, don’t quit. You are the only good coach.” Really? The only good one? Guess my mom and Tabitha didn’t count for much then.

“I’ll die if you quit. I’ll just die,” Brooke said. Big tears splashed down her face.

I stood outside their circle, watching the three of them. Joy had just effectively cut me out of the circle of friendship I’d had for so many years. I was an outsider looking in. But still, I thought it was all a misunderstanding. Joy would think about what I’d said, be the mature adult, and everything would be fine. Wouldn’t it?

When Tabitha returned from the bathroom, she seemed composed. I could tell she’d retouched her makeup, likely to cover tears, but she seemed calm.

“Okay, girls. Break’s over. We have to go over this dance again. Let’s take it from the top.”

She glanced at me and then over to where Joy and my two best friends still stood arm in arm. Even though she’d composed herself, Tabitha couldn’t seem to hide the surprise at this new development. She lifted one perfectly manicured eyebrow. She didn’t say anything. No one ever said anything to Joy. They all knew better. She would get that peeved puffed peacock look like she’d just gotten with me when I’d told her I was uncomfortable.

“Five, six, seven, eight,” shouted Tabitha.

“Wait!” Joy ran to the front of the gym where Tabitha stood. “I have an idea. Why don’t we do this move in segments, so it is like a wave instead of everyone at the same time.”

It wasn’t really a suggestion. It was more of a statement. I saw Tabitha take a deep breath and paste a smile on her face.

“That is a great idea, Joy, but we don’t have time to learn something new. We don’t even have the dance down yet. Maybe we can add that in later.”

Tabitha’s reply seemed like a reasonable response to me. She wasn’t totally discounting Joy’s idea, just saying there wasn’t time to work on it now. Apparently Joy didn’t see it the same way.

“We need to do the wave and really have an impact, don’t we girls?” Joy said.

Again, she was putting us in the middle of her disagreement with Tabitha. The other coach frowned and her hands rose slowly to her hips.

“Sorry, Joy, but I just don’t think we have time right now.” Tabitha was in charge of the dance part of our cheer squad. She’d trained as a dancer for fifteen years and had competed in high school. She’d even worked for a local ballet company for several years. Joy had no training whatsoever in dance.

“Let’s vote on it.” Joy clapped her hands. “Who wants to do a wave in this part of the dance, raise your hands.”

Brooke and Savannah lifted their hands immediately. No thought. No hesitation. Just sheer agreement with whatever Joy wanted and a little bit of of “stick it to Tabitha”. I stood there staring at my toes and wondering what was happening. I wished my mom was at practice today, but she’d had to work late. All three coaches had jobs of some sort, which is why having three coaches was also helpful. If one couldn’t make a practice, there were always two others who could.

One by one, the other girls on the squad started to fall in line with Brooke and Savannah. That is when I noticed Joy glaring at the girls individually until their hands lifted. I kept both of my arms by my sides. Finally, Joy turned her attention to me. She smiled at me encouragingly. I lifted my chin slightly and stared back at her, unsmiling. What she was doing was wrong. I felt it in my soul as certainly as I knew there was a God and He loved me. When I didn’t move, her smile disappeared by slow increments. A frown drove deep grooves in her forehead. She crossed her arms and glared at me. I continued to stare back. My arms were now glued to my sides. I couldn’t have raised them if I’d wanted to.

“Fine,” she shouted. “Everyone yes, one no. We’re doing the wave.”

Everyone yes, one no. I could feel the gazes of fifteen other girls boring into the back of my neck. I was only trying to do the right thing.

“I g-guess we’ll have to try to learn it,” Tabitha stuttered. She looked like she was about ready to cry again.

The rest of the practice was spent trying to perfect the wave. We didn’t even get to the rest of the dance.

“How was school?” My mom rushed around trying to get dinner on the table while finding out what our days were like.

“Great, I won a coke for getting an answer right in my study hall.” My sister smiled, proud of herself.

“That’s great, honey. I’m proud of you. What about you, Kate? How was your day?”

“Okay.” I took the plate she handed me and set it in front of me. The last thing I wanted to do was eat.

“What about practice? I feel terrible when I can’t make it. How did it go?” she asked.

“Kate said Joy made Tabitha cry,” my sister blurted.

“Kayla! Shut-up.” I glared at my sister. I wasn’t going to tell my mom that.

“Don’t tell your sister to shut-up. What happened? Spill?” My mom quit scurrying around and pulled out a chair and sat across from me. I hated when she gave me her undivided attention. I so did not want to talk about this but I knew she wouldn’t stop until I shared the details with her. My mom was a details person. She always wanted the scoop, because she believed knowledge was power and it helped you be prepared.

“I don’t know how to explain it, Mom.” I started to put food in my mouth, hoping she would stop asking questions. It didn’t work.

“Well try. I need to know what happened. I don’t want to walk into practice tomorrow to a big uproar and be blindsided.”

“Joy, Savannah and Brooke were all talking and ignoring Tabitha. When Tabitha asked them to pay attention, Joy told her she had it. Tabitha called and break and left, but I know she was going to cry.”

My mom stared at me for a few minutes as though she couldn’t believe what I’d just said. After several long minutes, she said, “I guess it was a misunderstanding.”

“Really? Was it a misunderstanding when she came back and tried to start the dance and Joy totally disrespected her in front of the whole squad?”

“How did Joy disrespect her?” My mom still didn’t look convinced.

“She interrupted Tabitha and said we needed to do a wave at the beginning. Tabitha said no that we didn’t have time to learn that and we didn’t have the dance yet, but maybe we would add it later. So, Joy called a vote and made all the girls vote her way. She stared them all down until they did.” I took a breath, talking so fast now that I could feel my heart racing. “Except for me. I didn’t vote yes. So, she said, ‘Fine. Everyone yes, one no. We’re doing the wave.’ I was humiliated, Mom. And so was Tabitha.”

“That’s horrible.”

Finally, my mom got it. I nodded my head in agreement.

“Joy is a–” my sister started to say.

“Don’t! Don’t say it,” my mom said. “Joy is my friend. I don’t know what is going on here. I’m going to call her tomorrow and find out though.”

I thought about warning my mom not to do that. Deep down inside I knew it was not a good idea. But I remained silent, still hoping Joy would be reasonable. That hope was about as useful as hoping there would be peace in the Middle East or that it would snow in Mexico.